Written 18-Oct-04
Change is always constant. We are always in motion. It is the law of inertia. As I "change" my 'plan'- that is, leaving the Bay area, I reflect on all the changes that I have crossed/seen/experienced over the past 4 years living in the Bay area. At the tender age of 21, I embarked on a new journey to adulthood. The past 4 years has help shaped me who I am today-- An 'independent' woman, striving the best for myself.
Fear, anxiety, and nervousness sets w/n me not knowing the mysteries of the unknown months...ahead. Removing myself from the comfortable seat of job monotonomy. Removing myself from the stationary enjoyment as I receive my paycheck. Removing myself from the peace of solitude to live back home.
Going back to school is a sure shot challenge-- As I plan to take a full load of classes. Surely it will not be an easy chore but who said life would be easy? Life is chalk full of ups-and-downs, turns-n-curves, and questions unanswered. I sure hope God will guide me each step of the way as He always has-- for I always need a huge amount of Faith, Hope, & Love...and Preserverance to help me jump each obstacle.
HOW? -How will I react living back w/ my parents and how will they react toward me?
-How will I react with constant readings and upcoming examinations?
-How will having less money impact me?
-How can I strive for a BALANCE of life?-How can I continue being a "good" person?
- will I have time for volunteering?
-How can exercise save me?
-How can I continue bettering myself as an adult?
-How will God guide me to leave my own maze of confusment and find my personal exit to success?
-How can I take healthier risks/chances each day? Each year?
-How can I turn my everyday tragedies into triumphs?
-How can I improve mentally, emotionally, spirtually?
-How can I simplify my life? What goods can I sell? What goods can I throw away? What do I really need?
-How can I appreciate life EACH day?-How can I thank people each day?
-How can I bring more love into life?-How can I be the ONLY me?
-How can I become less insecure?
-How can I become more patient?
-How can I become confident & assertive in all my goals in life?
-How can I become more wise?
-How can I take small things and not let it become bigger things/situations?
-How can I wholeheartedly accept people and their actions without judging them?
-How can I balance family, relationships, school, job, and still have time for myself?
-How can I save money without working?
-How can I still enjoy the things I enjoy without spending money?
-How can I live for today?
-How can I make the MOST of today?
-How can I remember that 10 percent is without our control and 90 percent is our attitude towards the situation?
-How can I not allow people to radicate me emotionally?
-How can I turn a negative situation into a positive?
-How can I allow the people in my life to better me?
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Written 2 November 2004
One word: FEARI'm afraid of leaving the comforts of the present. Leaving work. Leaving benefits. Leaving the money. Leaving the Bay area. Leaving into unknown territory. Afraid of being in close proximity with my family. Afraid of the unknown answers to questions such as, 'Will I be able to handle all of it? Emotionally?, while still maturing each day as an adult. How do I become confident?- of myself, with all my self-esteem issues while continuing to locate my career? I cry sometimes because the truth of the matter is, I AM AFRAID. I AM SCARED.I want change. I need change. Just unsure how I will react to it...emotionally.
Currently Listening : Per Second, Per Second, Per Second... Every Second By Wheat Release date: By 04 November, 2003
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Reasons for friends
Current mood: drained
God has reasons for us, God has reasons for friends.
People come in our lives for various reasonsSome enter our life for only a split second,yet others stay in our lives forever. People come, people go- That's just how it isbut each one has made a difference whether we realize it or not.
Each friend has a different purpose for us. One friend is a listener, while another is an advisor. Some friends are there to party, while others are there to make us laugh and smile. Another is made for encouragement or boosting our self morale, another tells us the "truth," another friend depresses us to make us stronger, yet another friend is annoying in order to teach us patience. Some we refer to as "best" friends, some acquaintenances, and the rest are simply, strangers.
I value quality any day than quantity. What's the value of a friendship if he or she can't make you laugh or share any goofy moments together? What's the value of a friendship if you can't tell her or him that you love them?
Food for thought:
-What kinds of characteristics do you value in friendship?
-What kind of friend do you want to be?, versus what kind of friend you really are?
-Who are your true friends? In other words, if you were stranded on the freeway in timbucktoo, who would drive hundreds of miles just to save you?
-Who can you turn to in your time of need (other than God and family)?
-How often do you communicate with your true friends?
How about this (perhaps controversial) one: If you were to die today, who would be at your funeral?, and why would they be there? Remorse, sadness, guilt? Think about it, if you had an enemy that attended your funeral, how would that make you feel, seeing all the mourning people from the outside looking in?
I think if you can HONESTLY admit you have at least five friends that will be there till "death do us part" then life becomes worthwhile and more meaningful. Do not take friendship for granted. The friends we choose depicts who we are for it is they that remind us who we've become.
Friends are like wine, it only gets better after a certain length of time since creation.
Take care & Best of Luck.... may the Force be w/ you.
Peace ya'll...
Currently Listening : Just Friends By Musiq Soulchild Release date: By 26 June, 2001
God has reasons for us, God has reasons for friends.
People come in our lives for various reasonsSome enter our life for only a split second,yet others stay in our lives forever. People come, people go- That's just how it isbut each one has made a difference whether we realize it or not.
Each friend has a different purpose for us. One friend is a listener, while another is an advisor. Some friends are there to party, while others are there to make us laugh and smile. Another is made for encouragement or boosting our self morale, another tells us the "truth," another friend depresses us to make us stronger, yet another friend is annoying in order to teach us patience. Some we refer to as "best" friends, some acquaintenances, and the rest are simply, strangers.
I value quality any day than quantity. What's the value of a friendship if he or she can't make you laugh or share any goofy moments together? What's the value of a friendship if you can't tell her or him that you love them?
Food for thought:
-What kinds of characteristics do you value in friendship?
-What kind of friend do you want to be?, versus what kind of friend you really are?
-Who are your true friends? In other words, if you were stranded on the freeway in timbucktoo, who would drive hundreds of miles just to save you?
-Who can you turn to in your time of need (other than God and family)?
-How often do you communicate with your true friends?
How about this (perhaps controversial) one: If you were to die today, who would be at your funeral?, and why would they be there? Remorse, sadness, guilt? Think about it, if you had an enemy that attended your funeral, how would that make you feel, seeing all the mourning people from the outside looking in?
I think if you can HONESTLY admit you have at least five friends that will be there till "death do us part" then life becomes worthwhile and more meaningful. Do not take friendship for granted. The friends we choose depicts who we are for it is they that remind us who we've become.
Friends are like wine, it only gets better after a certain length of time since creation.
Take care & Best of Luck.... may the Force be w/ you.
Peace ya'll...
Currently Listening : Just Friends By Musiq Soulchild Release date: By 26 June, 2001
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
What is your Happiness?
In your reality, what is Happiness? How do you, yourself define your Happiness?
Each individual has a door to Happiness. The question whether you have it closed or open is up to you. Many try to find Happiness in money, the quantity of material items one has such as houses or cars, or the kind of occupation one has.
My definition of Happiness lies within one’s soul. It’s not hard to find it, you just have to close a part of your pride and open wide the door of hope and let go of all your fears/worries/anxiety, and there hidden behind those doors of uncontent shall you find your door to Happiness.
Happiness is being able to let go of your fears, your worries, and your pains. It could be 30 seconds of accelerated freefall or 30 seconds of satisfaction on reflection of Life before one goes into a Higher level.
Happiness is Love..most importantly, loving yourSELF {i know it sounds so cliche}
Currently Listening : Libre By Manny Y Su Conjunto Libre Oquendo Release date: By 14 April, 2003
Each individual has a door to Happiness. The question whether you have it closed or open is up to you. Many try to find Happiness in money, the quantity of material items one has such as houses or cars, or the kind of occupation one has.
My definition of Happiness lies within one’s soul. It’s not hard to find it, you just have to close a part of your pride and open wide the door of hope and let go of all your fears/worries/anxiety, and there hidden behind those doors of uncontent shall you find your door to Happiness.
Happiness is being able to let go of your fears, your worries, and your pains. It could be 30 seconds of accelerated freefall or 30 seconds of satisfaction on reflection of Life before one goes into a Higher level.
Happiness is Love..most importantly, loving yourSELF {i know it sounds so cliche}
Currently Listening : Libre By Manny Y Su Conjunto Libre Oquendo Release date: By 14 April, 2003
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