Contemplation

Current mood: worried

Have you taken a serious look at yourself and asked, "Where has my growth been over the past year?" What areas have I established an increase of personal enhanced development? What areas in my life have I found a decrease in personal enhanced development? What has changed my life over 2005? Would you consider them to be positive or negative?

As you all know I stand at the current age of 26. With that being said, there has been numerous situations in my life that are out of my control to which has left me a bit perturbed over the past few weeks (again). If you've been an avid reader to my blogs, you're aware that I moved back home, you're aware that I went back to school...lest to admit, at a junior college for crying out loud. You're aware that I took a substantial paycut what I used to earn versus what I currently make, provided I work with only nominal hours. All this so I can find SELF GRATIFICATION/SOUL GRATIFICATION- suffice to say, so I CAN FIND MYSELF-- to find MY CAREER CALLING.

I'm sure, you too, can admit that sometimes we wish we could reverse time- perhaps 17 years ago. Gone are the days-- worry free ages, playful years of finding true peers, & childish laughable moments. Moments hit us hard now-- never ending debt- credit cards, insurance, house payments & for those of us who have a family or child- extra money to save for future college tuition, medical costs, & still finding time to spluge happily as a family. How can we find personal mental & financial stability & happiness in our everyday lives? If I'm at 26 still finding myself how about those that have more things to worry about and still in search of themselves?
I ask myself these questions because sometimes it's SO hard to laugh deeply when we're too concerned about what tomorrow will bring. I want to graduate ASAP. I want to travel ASAP. I want to have my own home ASAP. But I know, it's not going to simply happen. I remind myself all this has to include the assistance of God, the assistance of preserverance, the assistance of personal willpower & the 'want' to change my attitude, the assistance of encouragement from other people, & most of all patience with a hint of Love all mixed in.

Only a few more weeks, Godwilling, the year draws to a close. What kinds of resolutions are you/will you make? What can you change about yourself to be a "better" (or shall I say 'wiser') person? How can YOUR decisions affect others? WHO will BE affected by your decisions?
Many more blessings to you and your family.... I bid farewell
Love, Peace, & Happiness,Michelle

'Time' Is Life

Time will tell many thingsthe ways we've matured
the number of occasions we learn each daythe times it takes for us to not repeat the same mistake
Time is a medium that never stops-A second will never be the same second nor are we ever the same person from yesterday to tomorrow
Time will show how much you love a person (a measurement in yrs)
How much a person has aged
The number of times a person has smiled
The number of times a person has cried
Like a straight 180' line, the ends of its rays never stops its infinite such as that like the universe
Time is the future, the present, and the past
Time is our growthTime is being born
Time is our death
Time is how much accomplishments one has had in his/her life
Time is over-riding the number of challenges in their lifetime & finding the success within those challenges
Time heals wounds,
Removes the scars
Time rejuvenate all souls
Like mathematics, time is complicated
It can never be fully comprehended.
It is so complex and utlimately so simple.
Created by man, time is never the same 'time' wherever you may be living in the world.
Dictionaries defines it as a nonspatial continuum where events occur in irreversible succession.

Time is The now.

What kind of vision would you like to see? Many say that your life flashes before your eyes (just before you die), what kind of movie do you want to see in your LifeTIME?

Currently Listening : Time Will Tell: A Tribute to Bob Marley By Bunny Wailer Release date: By 15 May, 1990

Time by MZ

Time goes by too fast, its hard for me to fathom almost one year has lapsed
All the distant memories- fond memories sweet memories devastating memories
All the memories gone slowly adrift
Memories slowly drifting away
- drip drip drip
Slowly fading away
- drip drip drip
The morning dew falls on the razor-sharp needle of a pine tree
Happily
To smell the morning dew scent
Awakening new vent
Vaporizes through nostrils, "aww damn, it smells daylight fresh"
Coming soon to a winter weather season mesh
of snowfalls, cold nights, warm heated chimneys

Travelers take flight to various coasts to
Experience the beauty of colors changing
Rearranging
-of varying seasons in different regions of this beautiful world
Holidays are nearing- come Halloween, following Thanksgiving, & lastly Christmas
What does it represent to us?
Individually? Collectively?
Use your minds, look into your third eye
What do you see? What will you be?
Who are you? Who am I to ask you?

Break a smile & locate ovation to T O D A Y.

The year 2 0 0 5, the world has seen:
Devastations, obliterations, eradications, exterminations amongst nations
The mighty sword of kinetic energy states we’re always in motion
Think of a breaking record spinning in circular rotations
The law of inertia never stops prodding
Tells us that movement is amongst us
- positive or negative there will always be tomorrow
Try not to fall in the narrow
Road of greed, money, & hate
The law of gravity allows us not to fall from the cliff
A mighty cliff solely named Life
Bewilder your minds, find challenge, expand mitochondria, & increase each molecule of adenosine triphosphate
Don’t Hate
As one wonders what kind of Fate will tomorrow be?
Maybe-
If you,
Annihilate the negativity
Exhibit positive productivity
It simply might just work….

Break out your Faith,
Find Unity
And Diversity and don’t forget Love
Amongst each other, cause brotha,
there ain't no other "me" like 'you' & 'me'
We are all U N I Q U E.
Love, Soul, Peace, & Happiness
I am Rara Avis- m z

What I've Learned In Life by MZ

What I've Learned In Life Thus Far by MZ

So far this is what life has taught me:
1. Life is ALL experiences. Knowing what you want & want you dont'want. A matter of daily elimination.

2.Everything is timed. Timed by God. Everything happens for a reason. Simple lessons He puts forth each day but do you see it?

3. Doesn't matter where we stand but all of us CAN make a difference. The only variance between you & a revolutionary is that he/she took the iniative to fullfill a need- a calling.. What's yours?

4. Exercising & being active makes all the difference in the world- Sound sleep or tossing n turning? Its the best feeling when endorphins are circling your head, your body, your mind, your physical/mental/emotional capacities

5. Be an optimist

6. Don't trip if you THINK you're getting "old" (meaning closer to 30,40,whatever). Don't trip if your 28 & you think you should propose to your long term girlfriend. Don't trip if you haven't found that supposed "perfect someone". Don't trip if you don't have kids before 36. Don't trip if you dont have a house yet. Like Alliyah once sang, "AGE AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER". Like I said, everything happens for a reason.

7. Laugh, laugh, laugh- IT IS THE cure for a weak, sad, & despondant heart. Laugh optimism love hope = happy people {or less people to hate}

8. Try not to marry at such a young age- Try to marry 25 and above- i've realized you won't be as happy as you think you would be. One of my pet peeves: divorces

9. Learn to love yourself- learn to know yourself-learn to find out who you are & what makes you tick. If you do, you'll become even more powerful. You'll also find life so much more gratifying.

10. Try not to get stuck on the daily grind- Life IS an adventure- Live like it is. One of my favorite movies is Motorcycle Diaries- I highly recommend it.

11. If you find yourself angry or frustrated, take a deep breath & inhale for 12 seconds, hold it in, & slowly release for another 8-

12. Fluctuance (farting): Admit it or not, EVERYBODY does it. It's really no big deal if you accidently let one out.

13. Eat breakfast- hasn't your mom (or school) reminded you breakfast is the most important meal of the day?

14. Practice the act of saying hi or good morning to a stranger- esp. in the morning- It really makes a difference

15. Manners!- I can't stand it when i hold the door open for another & they can't say Thank You! Geesh!

16. No better feeling than to feel APPRECIATED

17. Try not to be so damn greedy

18. Remember "karma" {what comes around goes around}

19. Bring a camera- Take uncaptured memories- Life is too short (as reinforced earlier) to try to be "perfect"

20. When possible, sing to the top of your lungs in your car/shower- even if you think you can't sing. Besides, if the car next to you smirks, hey, at least you've made somebody laugh, right? (Besides whats the likelihood you'll bump into him/her again? Rarely unless you live in a super duper small town)

21. Stop fakin' yourself (Southern CA has lot of those so be aware!)- try to stay real w/ who you are.

22. To find true friends, keep in mind QUALITY versus QUANTITY.

23. Trials = Triumph

24. Its an advantage to you if you're open minded (musically, interests, arts, artforms, people, peoples' quirks to name a few)

25. Relax- even if its just a few minutes- Don't stress

26. Don't be afraid to make mistakes..don't be afraid to make your OWN mistakes.
Lastly, like Bob Marley once said, "One Love"

I hope all ya readers, have found this insightful & intriguing as i find the same w/ life.- mz

Currently Listening : One Love: The Very Best of Bob Marley & the Wailers By Bob & the Wailers Marley Release date: By 22 May, 2001

"TIME" By Michelle

Current mood: artistic

Time goes by too fast, its hard for me to fathom almost one year has lapsed
All the distant memories- fond memories sweet memories devastating memories
All the memories gone slowly adrift
Memories slowly drifting away
- drip drip drip
Slowly fading away
- drip drip drip
The morning dew falls on the razor-sharp needle of a pine tree
Happily
To smell the morning dew scent
Awakening new vent
Vaporizes through nostrils, "aww damn, it smells daylight fresh"
Coming soon to a winter weather season mesh
of snowfalls, cold nights, warm heated chimneys
Travelers take flight to various coasts to
Experience the beauty of colors changing
Rearranging
-of varying seasons in different regions of this beautiful world
Holidays are nearing- come Halloween, following Thanksgiving, & lastly Christmas
What does it represent to us?
Individually? Collectively?
Use your minds, look into your third eye
What do you see? What will you be?
Who are you? Who am I to ask you?

Break a smile & locate ovation to T O D A Y.

The year 2 0 0 5, the world has seen:
Devastations, obliterations, eradications, exterminations amongst nations
The mighty sword of kinetic energy states we’re always in motion
Think of a breaking record spinning in circular rotations
The law of inertia never stops prodding
Tells us that movement is amongst us
- positive or negative there will always be tomorrow
Try not to fall in the narrow
Road of greed, money, & hate
The law of gravity allows us not to fall from the cliff
A mighty cliff solely named Life
Bewilder your minds, find challenge, expand mitochondria, & increase each molecule of adenosine triphosphate
Don’t Hate
As one wonders what kind of Fate will tomorrow be?
Maybe-
If you,
Annihilate the negativity
Exhibit positive productivity
It simply might just work….

Break out your Faith,
Find Unity
And Diversity and don’t forget Love
Amongst each other, cause brotha,
there ain't no other "me" like 'you' & 'me'

We are all U N I Q U E.
Love, Soul, Peace, & Happiness

I am Rara Avis- m z
Currently Listening : Parachutes By Coldplay Release date: By 07 November, 2000

Today's Gospel

As you may have noticed, I haven’t posted any gospels up but I felt that today’s gospel (i went to church @ 5:pm) was worth the story and it hit home for me.. so with that being said, please read on… (my comments are after the blue shaded words). Thank you for your patience in reading this, I realize it's quite lengthy {so prep yourselves with water}- mz

Let me first introduce:
the letter of St.Paul to the Philippians: {Philippians 4:10-14}
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that now at least you revived your concern for me. You were, of course, concerned about me but lacked an opportunity. Not that I say this because of need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient. I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I have the strength for everything, through him who empowers me. Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress.

Over the years (especially in my early 20’s), God has placed so much opportunities for me to learn, for me to grow. When I left home a week before age 21, I started on a journey unknowing what was going to happen. I took each day, DAY BY DAY. As the days progressed to weeks and weeks to years, I found myself growing abundant with learning pains. I tried to grasp everything that God brought me with: balancing Life- work, money, a relationship, learning who Michelle was, and what I wanted to do in my life. When I was 21, I thought being a buyer and being in the corporate world was what I wanted to do (it just sounded really cool when you’re 21), climbing the corporate ladder, and becoming ‘somebody’. There was even a point in my early 20’s where I thought the boyfriend at the time was the guy I wanted to spend my life with. But little did I know what was to become today.

I learned so much just by facing the problems, or for lack of positive terms, let’s change ‘problems’ to ‘opportunistic challenges’. So moving out of the house, moving to different cities where family/friends are sparse doesn’t sound like a big deal and in reality, it ain’t. However, the growth that you learn to live by yourSELF (yes, I mean NO roommates whatsoever) is tremendous. You learn to buy everyday necessities, you've got your own lengthy chores (like cooking dinner!), learning that you might just be scared of the dark, you have nobody reminding you that tomorrow is the 1st of the month (for those that don’t know, that’s rent time baby). And like many others who can side my back, time simply goes by too damn fast that you may or may not forget rent is ‘tomorrow’ and bills need to be paid.

Having gone through a few promotions means more money (even though the promotion ain’t much, its still something), but for those that understand me means, more money equals more opportunities to buy materialistic objects. For example, I found myself splurging more on food where at one time I thought a restaurant that had a food menu of $10 and up was pricey, found myself going to restaurants that averaged at least $25/plate- and hey, if you add wine to the list (which as many of you know I drink), that’s an extra $10 to the total. I also found myself moving to a bigger studio. And yet I wonder, ‘where the heck did my savings go?’ {Obviously it was rent- hey, Bay area rent ain’t that cheap fellas}. And I admit, it was fun in the beginning.

So why am I telling you this? Well remember above it said, ‘for I have learned, in whatever situation I find myself, to be self-sufficient…know how to live in humble circumstances; know how to live with abundance..in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry...I have the strength for everything, through him who empowers me.'

For I do have THE strength to know I can make things happen if I set my mind onto it (remember that 10 percent are actions/events that are OUT of our control, 90 percent is OUR attitude towards the situation). Fortunately I have no current commitments (other than school) so I feel that I’m somewhat lucky to do things I can easily do if I wanted to. Yet, I’m 26. I’ve got friends that are married or will be married, have kids or will have kids. But I’ve also learned over the past year, that that simply won’t happen to me (marriage stuff for example) just yet.

I caught myself on a different plane. Money isn’t everything and having a billion dollar home won’t make you the happiest person on earth (well, maybe for the first few seconds).
I caught myself on a different plane. Was being in the retail corporate world really want I wanted to do? Do I really want to be ‘stuck’ in this kind of work environment?
I caught myself on a different plane. Who is Michelle and what are my contributions?
I caught myself on a different plane. Long term, what do I want to accomplish? I caught myself on a different plane. How was I changing and how have I adapted from the people that mean the most to me?

Additionally, over the past year I’ve had friends/family (meaning more then 4 people) who’s been stressed out over the course of their current livelihood. Think about your obligations in life and in what priority would you number it at. Can you realistically and honestly handle all of it and still break a smile once and awhile? If the answer is probably no, then perhaps its time to “change”. {Remember change isn't necessarily a negative action and remember everything is PERCEPTION." Stress isn’t worth forgetting what you are, who you are, and the impact it has on your love ones. Yeah, we all stress out. I know I do! I know it affects people yet for that moment I lose site who its affecting cause I'm so wrapped onto my own stresses. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons my ex-boyfriend left me—because I was becoming a wad of stressballs steadily increasing the road to cynicism. For those of you who know me, I stress out about my dad- a man who’s stubborn, close-minded and who stresses way too much over the pettiest things. So yeah, please please try not to stress out and try to see who you’re affecting when you stress about the things in your life. Try to ask the other person, happily, “how are you doing today?” and break out with a smile (even if you're own the phone, the person on the other line knows when you are smiling). For those that i've stressed to you, i'm saying it right now, I'm sorry.


Holy Gospel according to Matthew {Matthew 22: 1-14}:
The Parable of the Wedding Feast:
Jesus again in reply spoke to them in parables, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come. A second time he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those invited: “Behold, I have prepared my banquet, my calves and fattened cattle are killed, and everything sir ready; come to the feast.” Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business. The rest laid hold of his servants, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find. The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment. He said to him, ‘My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?’ But he was reduced to silence. Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth. Many are invited, but few are chosen.’

I’m not gonna be able to break it down the way the priest said in his sermon but some of the points I got from the parable is this: In the beginning of the story, when the king’s servants went out to tell people that they were invited by the king, the people simply ignored the message (they went back to their homes, businesses, and some killed the messengers). In our lives, these are the people (messengers) that tell us the reality, the stuff that we don’t like to hear and yet, what do we do? We turn the other way. Why, we don’t want to hear it, right? Some just can’t bear constructive criticism. And yet there’s times where we don’t realize but IT IS constructive criticism {sometimes, the delivery just ain’t right unfortunately :(}

The invitation is God- He brought us Life, brought us our Family/Friends/Love, our Health, our Opportunities, most of all, Salvation. The parable invites everybody- good or bad. The parable depicts people who are rejecting kindness which has been graciously offered. Although not all people will be gracious to you, that’s okay. Try to be gracious to them. God sees your good deeds. In addition I just wanna say, ‘karma.’

The destruction from the King is the chaos, the progress of destruction in our lives- the stress, the part of us that is slowly dying, the way we feel we can’t cope dealing with so much crap in our lives.

The man at the end of the story was a rebellious, disrespectful man (didn’t wear wedding attire). This is us when we’re rebelling from Him, turning the other way trying to temp Him.

It’s hard to face change, especially when the ‘change’ or ‘adjustment’ needs to be us. Many people find constructive criticism extremely difficult. Like a married couple, one must be able to be open-minded in order to see things from the other partner; it’s no longer about “me” anymore but rather, “us” in a marriage; Not “how am I doing?” but “how are we doing?” “How can I stop being stubborn and how can I better see things from the prospective of my partner?” The people who ignored the message in the parable didn’t want to change for the better.
At the end of the gospel, the parable states, “Many are invited, but few are chosen.” I conclude with this question for you to think about, you have been called, but will you be chosen?
Currently Listening : Ancestry in Progress By Zap Mama Release date: By 14 September, 2004

I Feared

Author Unknown

I feared being Alone until I learned to like myself.
I feared Failure until I realized that I only fail when I don't try.
I feared Success until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.
I feared people's Opinions until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared Rejection until I learned to have Faith in myself.
I feared Pain until I learned that it's necessary for growth.
I feared the Truth until I saw the ignorance of lies.
I feared Life until I experienced its beauty.
I feared Death until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my Destiny until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared Hate until I saw that it was nothing but igorance.
I feared Ridicule until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared Growing Old until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the Future until I realized that life keeps getting better.
I feared the Past until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.
I feared the Dark until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the Light until I learned that the truth would give me strength.
I feared Change until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.
If you want to take your mission in life to the next level, if you're stuck and you don't know how to rise, don't look outside yourself. Look inside. Don't let your Fears keep you mired in the crowd.

Abolish your fears and raise your committment level to the point of no return, and I guarantee you that the "Chamption Within" will burst forth to propel you toward victory."- Author Unknown

Trust yourselves and let God handle all the work... Life can sometimes simply be 'that easy'. Have a stupendous week everybody! O yeah, and wish me luck on my Biology exam this Wednesday..Ciao!- Michelle

Currently Listening : Babalu Music! I Love Lucy's Greatest Hits [SOUNDTRACK] By Desi Arnez Release date: By 22 October, 1991

Consideration?!?

Current mood: annoyed

how come people can't be considerate? its completely annyoying when you've left your schedule open for another and they can't call you early on the day to inform you their schedules has changed?, esp. when you were looking forward to seeing them that day. isn't that just common courtesty...? It would be one thing if it's only an hour or so but it's another thing if half the day is already gone.
one word, people: R E S P E C T.
please (TRY TO) be considerate of others. i understand living in America all of us are fuckn busy but damn, respect others while balancing yourself. S T R I V E to find balance in your life, otherwise you'll end up loosing (and stressing!,perhaps even stressing others at the same time) in the game of Life.
anyway it could just be a sexist thing...that guys don't get the common courtesty stuff? who knows.. i guess it'll always be that "men are from mars and women are from venus"

Trip to the Philippines

Current mood: grateful

As many of you may wonder my trip to the "rootland," the Philippines, was a wonderful, reflective, introspective, peaceful one month (U.S.) summer trip. I was able to see my Lola. She's 84 yrs old and survived a stroke two Thanksgivings ago. She can no longer speak and cannot move her right arm. She can no longer recall who we are. Perhaps she weaves in out consciously. Sometimes it looks like she remembers us but most times, if we'd talk to her, she just looks at us. She dramatically aged since.

My grandparents used to live (as did I) in La Mirada- they raised us before they moved back to Bohol a few years ago. I used to speak cebuwano when I was very little. Unfortunately having been born and raised in southern CA, that all changed with english taking over the day to day conversations. When not intimidated, I tried to speak the dialect-- it was awesome having cebuwano around me, it felt so comfortable.

That was the longest I've been in Bohol; most times I stay in my dad's hometown of Iloilo, more city'ish. That was also difficult visiting there because the past 3 times I've been there, my Lola would always be there waiting for us; Unfortunately she passed away two Junes ago.

The barrio of Sta. Filomena, Albur, Bohol is situated next to the ocean. The ocean is literally less than a 10 minute walk from my grandparent's house. It was so nice! We went to the beach nearly each day. Nonetheless, I still haven't learned how to swim but it was good practice, especially when the ocean becomes your own swimming pool. When it wasn't raining and if the ocean was high tide, it was such a magnificent sight. Waking up to caribou, dogs & cats co-mingling, a flock of turkeys along with their leaders, pigs, chickens (exclude their feces of course! you better watch out where you step), and various kinds of insects including colorful butterflies, coconut trees surrounding you like your own personal gate was a pleasant experience.

Of course you can imagine I was bitten by mosquitos, ants, spiders, and amongst others all over (and I mean ALL OVER). I used Off repellent but I'd still wake up with more increasing bites/scars each day. The big scare was being bitten by a mosquito that caused dingue. People died from it.

Below is a bulleted list that were highlights amongst my trip:
- Novena & rosaries in the local barrio chapel and/or at the house (even sleeping really early! that's normally unheard of back in the U.S.)
- Tried to sing visayan songs (during one of the rosaries)
- Getting lots of massages, including one in particular where I got a body scrub and massage- with my cousins
- Sandugo festival (Sandugo was one of the first treaties of friendship between Spain and the Philippines- leaders traded blood)
- Walked to the local beach-
Got a hair spa
- Having delicious soups (esp. coconut with kamungay)
- Was able to see a useful resourceful medicinal way of using tabacco leaves to relieve pain- (Tried to) walk the caribou
- Able to see the co-collaboration of animals together without chasing each other
- Able to see Bohol's largest python & the smallest monkey, the tarsier
- Able to see a herd of turkeys work together to find food
- Went to the oldest church in Bohol in the town of Baklayon
- Able to see fireflies in the town of Bilar
- Able to see and feed the monkeys in Bilar
- Taking a "mini" trip with my cousins on a motorcycle to the town of Bilar & taking a intermediate hike (we didn't even have a flashlight!)
- Experiencing the fiestas of Sta. Filomena- Albur, Sta. San Roque- Wepo, & the feast of Our Lady Assumption- Dauis
- Turning 26 in Bohol and alongside my grandparents present
- First experience with playing badminton in Cebu (not too bad for my first time)
- Learning pusoy dos (similiar to poker) in Cebu
- Seeing a few live bands in Iloilo & Bohol
- Drinking San Miguel Ice beer
- Drinking Tanduay & coke with my Lolo
- Taking the motorcab, motorcycle, & taxi - all on one night!
- Saw the movie, Stealth in the movie theater
- Being the tannest (is that such a word? well now it is!) I EVER been {how can i keep this color?}
- Eating the best mangos
- Eating ube ice cream! Magnolias brand- yummy!
- Eating at a restaurant where the servers were deaf; you'd order your food through a telephone in the booth
- The restaurant benefits one of the deaf foundations; Ironically, the theme were cowboys
- Re-visiting Chocolate Hills (the 1st time ever was back in 1993)
- Visiting the new attraction- Sagbayon Peak (it overlooks the Chocolate Hills)
- Taking a boat ride in Loboc River
- In Manila for our 7 hour stay, we went to the famous Intramurous area, all on a horse carriage!
- Saw the biggest starfish ever & we carried it back to my grandparents house

I hope all of you will get the chance to see and experience some of the stuff that I've had the blessed chance to experience. You will always come out a different (and hopefully better & appreciative) person when visiting a 3rd world country.

Try not to take things for granted, especially:
- people (all your love & loved ones)
- toilets (with running water & with toilet paper)- washing machine & dryer
- foods like various kinds of cheeses & diary products
- how stressful & aggravating freeways may be; remember they're there to be able to get to Point B faster)
- what the U.S. has to offer such as smog checks on all our vehicles to ensure what we breathe is safe- trash & sanitation systems, esp. with recycling & trash bins in every corner in the U.S.
- reduced mosquitos and other insect infestation
- the nicer infrastructure the U.S. has to offer such as roads, streets, etc.
- the abundant cell phone peak minutes to call a person rather than text
- the cheaper price of electronics, such as televisions or laptops
- the various kinds of food types in the U.S. (mexican, italian, persian, indian, carribean, deli, you get my drift)- various kinds of races


Currently Listening : Illadelph Halflife By The Roots Release date: By 24 September, 1996

Change is frightening

Written 18-Oct-04

Change is always constant. We are always in motion. It is the law of inertia. As I "change" my 'plan'- that is, leaving the Bay area, I reflect on all the changes that I have crossed/seen/experienced over the past 4 years living in the Bay area. At the tender age of 21, I embarked on a new journey to adulthood. The past 4 years has help shaped me who I am today-- An 'independent' woman, striving the best for myself.

Fear, anxiety, and nervousness sets w/n me not knowing the mysteries of the unknown months...ahead. Removing myself from the comfortable seat of job monotonomy. Removing myself from the stationary enjoyment as I receive my paycheck. Removing myself from the peace of solitude to live back home.

Going back to school is a sure shot challenge-- As I plan to take a full load of classes. Surely it will not be an easy chore but who said life would be easy? Life is chalk full of ups-and-downs, turns-n-curves, and questions unanswered. I sure hope God will guide me each step of the way as He always has-- for I always need a huge amount of Faith, Hope, & Love...and Preserverance to help me jump each obstacle.

HOW? -How will I react living back w/ my parents and how will they react toward me?
-How will I react with constant readings and upcoming examinations?
-How will having less money impact me?
-How can I strive for a BALANCE of life?-How can I continue being a "good" person?
- will I have time for volunteering?
-How can exercise save me?
-How can I continue bettering myself as an adult?
-How will God guide me to leave my own maze of confusment and find my personal exit to success?
-How can I take healthier risks/chances each day? Each year?
-How can I turn my everyday tragedies into triumphs?
-How can I improve mentally, emotionally, spirtually?
-How can I simplify my life? What goods can I sell? What goods can I throw away? What do I really need?
-How can I appreciate life EACH day?-How can I thank people each day?
-How can I bring more love into life?-How can I be the ONLY me?
-How can I become less insecure?
-How can I become more patient?
-How can I become confident & assertive in all my goals in life?
-How can I become more wise?
-How can I take small things and not let it become bigger things/situations?
-How can I wholeheartedly accept people and their actions without judging them?
-How can I balance family, relationships, school, job, and still have time for myself?
-How can I save money without working?
-How can I still enjoy the things I enjoy without spending money?
-How can I live for today?
-How can I make the MOST of today?
-How can I remember that 10 percent is without our control and 90 percent is our attitude towards the situation?
-How can I not allow people to radicate me emotionally?
-How can I turn a negative situation into a positive?
-How can I allow the people in my life to better me?
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Written 2 November 2004
One word: FEARI'm afraid of leaving the comforts of the present. Leaving work. Leaving benefits. Leaving the money. Leaving the Bay area. Leaving into unknown territory. Afraid of being in close proximity with my family. Afraid of the unknown answers to questions such as, 'Will I be able to handle all of it? Emotionally?, while still maturing each day as an adult. How do I become confident?- of myself, with all my self-esteem issues while continuing to locate my career? I cry sometimes because the truth of the matter is, I AM AFRAID. I AM SCARED.I want change. I need change. Just unsure how I will react to it...emotionally.

Currently Listening : Per Second, Per Second, Per Second... Every Second By Wheat Release date: By 04 November, 2003

Reasons for friends

Current mood: drained
God has reasons for us, God has reasons for friends.
People come in our lives for various reasonsSome enter our life for only a split second,yet others stay in our lives forever. People come, people go- That's just how it isbut each one has made a difference whether we realize it or not.

Each friend has a different purpose for us. One friend is a listener, while another is an advisor. Some friends are there to party, while others are there to make us laugh and smile. Another is made for encouragement or boosting our self morale, another tells us the "truth," another friend depresses us to make us stronger, yet another friend is annoying in order to teach us patience. Some we refer to as "best" friends, some acquaintenances, and the rest are simply, strangers.
I value quality any day than quantity. What's the value of a friendship if he or she can't make you laugh or share any goofy moments together? What's the value of a friendship if you can't tell her or him that you love them?

Food for thought:
-What kinds of characteristics do you value in friendship?
-What kind of friend do you want to be?, versus what kind of friend you really are?
-Who are your true friends? In other words, if you were stranded on the freeway in timbucktoo, who would drive hundreds of miles just to save you?
-Who can you turn to in your time of need (other than God and family)?
-How often do you communicate with your true friends?

How about this (perhaps controversial) one: If you were to die today, who would be at your funeral?, and why would they be there? Remorse, sadness, guilt? Think about it, if you had an enemy that attended your funeral, how would that make you feel, seeing all the mourning people from the outside looking in?

I think if you can HONESTLY admit you have at least five friends that will be there till "death do us part" then life becomes worthwhile and more meaningful. Do not take friendship for granted. The friends we choose depicts who we are for it is they that remind us who we've become.

Friends are like wine, it only gets better after a certain length of time since creation.

Take care & Best of Luck.... may the Force be w/ you.

Peace ya'll...

Currently Listening : Just Friends By Musiq Soulchild Release date: By 26 June, 2001

What is your Happiness?

In your reality, what is Happiness? How do you, yourself define your Happiness?

Each individual has a door to Happiness. The question whether you have it closed or open is up to you. Many try to find Happiness in money, the quantity of material items one has such as houses or cars, or the kind of occupation one has.

My definition of Happiness lies within one’s soul. It’s not hard to find it, you just have to close a part of your pride and open wide the door of hope and let go of all your fears/worries/anxiety, and there hidden behind those doors of uncontent shall you find your door to Happiness.

Happiness is being able to let go of your fears, your worries, and your pains. It could be 30 seconds of accelerated freefall or 30 seconds of satisfaction on reflection of Life before one goes into a Higher level.

Happiness is Love..most importantly, loving yourSELF {i know it sounds so cliche}

Currently Listening : Libre By Manny Y Su Conjunto Libre Oquendo Release date: By 14 April, 2003